wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I had to cum in my sink.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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