Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
