some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
