shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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