Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
