this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
