just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
