I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
