Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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