Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
