is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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