he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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