My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
