Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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