Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it hurts more in the daytime
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
