I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
