I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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