I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
