Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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