No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
