so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
