I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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