The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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