His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My butt remains clenched, sir.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
