The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
