we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
