you guys were way drunker than both of me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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