your room smells of hookers.
And success
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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