I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
