I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
