What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
