There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i came on her dog
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize