help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
