they need to just BURY HIM!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
