Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
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She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
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Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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