I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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