can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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