check it out our google latitudes are spooning
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
