I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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