thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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