what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she woke up with a sticky ear
Quick, to the slutcave!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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