worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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