singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
