don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
