Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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