i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
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The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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