farters have to be the big spoon...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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