It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
