yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
