Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
