i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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