I'm going to jail i love you
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
two words...techno handjob
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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