We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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