found the other keg... it's in the tree
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It's shark week go big or go home
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
