I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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