Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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