a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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