great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
